Monday, September 10, 2012

Sucker Punched

Yesterday was one of the hardest days I have experienced since we committed to bring Porter home.  I felt like I had been kicked in the gut and struggled all day with fear, anxiousness, and uncertainty.  The knowledge of what Porter is experiencing consumed me.  My lack of ability to do more crushed me.

I spent most of the day in my room crying, feeling hopeless.  Curtis came in and held me and he prayed over me.  After he left, I took a shower and this song came on.  It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear.  "Peace be still and know that I am God."

9 comments:

  1. Oh Sara, I am sorry you had such a rough day, but what a blessing that your Husband was so supportive! You are working so quickly and GOD is watching over Porter! Sending you a hug!

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  2. Thank you Becki! I was able to get the rest of our dossier apostilled and sent off today. It is happening and it is overwhelming sometimes. So glad to have you so close by and know that you KNOW how this feels!

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  3. Hang In There Little Lady,,, I Know exactly how you feel! It`s hard! Praying for you!

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  4. Sara, I have cried more times than i can count over Porter, the other lost boys, and all those orphans in such a hard place. I'm crying now!!! What a beautiful song, yes, let's be still and know that He is God. He's got Porter in his hands. I'm certainly not saying that he is not spared from his situation, but GOD WILL SET THIS ALL RIGHT ONE GLORIOUS DAY! That is my hope in Christ. That is what gets me by when i feel like I can't hold up under all the pain this world can hurl at me. Some how, God's gonna work it all together for good, for His glory. I don't understand it, not at all, but i have faith, i CLING to it!!! It's the air i breath, one sob at a time sometimes! Hang on Sara, hang on Porter, hang on!!!

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  5. I'm sorry. I realize that my FB message probably was what hurt you. I'M SORRY! - covenantb@yahoo.com -

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    1. Julia, please don't be sorry. It is an accumulation of emotions that hit all at once. We are battling spiritual warfare. I am praying for you and your family as well as Satan is trying to attack anyone who is involved. He has already been defeated, but it doesn't keep him from being an irritating gnat!

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  6. In getting porter home, you'll soon be in the company of some awesome RR mommas:

    Autumn Winkle tired of Yuri, ap she disrupted him (since it was easier than getting the boy a walker)

    The Garcias and Reilly's shipped their "forever" adopted kiddos to crisis respite indefinitely

    The Clantons "accidentally" (with homicide investigating) dropped Selah into the Erie canal while strapped into a stroller. A girl who could breathe and walk in her bad Ukrainian orphanage is now in a coma, with a feeding tube. Her "forever" family did this to her!!!!

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    1. Thank you Freddie for bring awareness to these situations. I know better how I can be praying for these families. You are among a few that have walked this far in life without facing such tragedies.

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